Novos 3s school the college

Well Saturday was again a truly breathtaking affair with half the team hungover, a banjo snapped and a few debuts/returnees.
The changing rooms where small but they where very thoughtful considering we had some older players kindly installing a disabled shower. After I had been verbally abused all morning we all got changed and made our way to the field to issue an almighty smashing to our opposition.
We started off our warm up like we really did mean business. James Desmond running us through some mighty intense running’s making out that the police actually did movements like that, hence him standing bossing the orders…Typical!

However it obviously worked as we managed to put 10 tries past them.
We started brightly with the forwards marching up the field and within the first 5 minutes we had our first score.

Tom Burford arguably the best team bitch novos has ever had collecting a superb dummy switch switch from Greg humpreyson to break the line. After a few more phases we managed to get the ball down the line to James Weaver to score in the corner. 5-0 with Greg Humpreysons conversion attempt missed followed by the gayest shout of “thank you Greg!” from Joe Carr. Sarcasm?!! We don’t know?

There was so many tries scored I’m just going to tell you about them, really cant remember what order they came in.

James Desmond will want a mention for his pacey running. At one point he ran from his own 22 a good 30 yards before eventually being taken down.
Also a great solo effort from Dan White who came on from the bench from a recent banjo snapping injury to make some great runs and also some great offloads to the opposition.
Oh Des did score 3 tries too, 1 in the corner because Joe Carr couldn’t keep up so he just had to score, 2 pritty much pick and goes from inside their 22. pretty awful tries to be honest. He also deliberately dropped the ball and stopped a certain try scoring opportunity to Dan Bollado and probs me if Dan couldn’t finish (he couldn’t finish all game).
Des also showed us his softer side letting Matt our number 9 claim a ball that was cleary his, well kind of…the supporters enjoyed that one!

Craig Paterson and Mike Cousins had an OK game. Even though between them they gave away a record number of free kicks/penalties from scrum time I have ever witnessed in a rugby game they both scored also (unbelievably). Some people say it’s the first time Craig has ever crossed the whitewash, some say Mike Cousins usually drops the ball for sheer comedy every time he crosses the line but no on Saturday 17th January they both scored. Mike ran 2 metres, Craig ran 4 metres. To confirm their love for eachother when Craig scored Mike, in true front row fashion, shouted “YES!” but in the campest voice you have ever heard. Personally I just think it was poor defending from STC that let them in.

David Marshall, after forcing me to take him to see Celebrity Big Brother, also had a good game, breaking the line with his pace on several occasions eventually scoring in the corner from half way. Everyone just watched him do it, we don’t need to support him. Again the entire above where not converted by Greg (I don’t think) maybe one was.
Dan Bollado, I suppose, deserves a mention for his line breaking but I have to mention he was completely side stepped in the second half by one of their centres. As Dan got up to his feet he turned to me and said his ‘knee locked.’ Some how I just didn’t believe him as he managed to play the remainder of the game no bother.

I have to say as soon as I was brought off and the magical centre pairing of me and Dan Bollado was split things started to appear a bit unorganised as John William Marshall appeared to be snipered in his first involvement eventually leading to a score from STC.
Ian Pratt also thought he was some karate king hitting everyone above the neck, and punishing one of STC’s forwards who appeared to be deaf by punching him blind. No card awarded but some say the player who took the hit didn’t hear him coming! Ian’s efforts to concede more penalties continued eventually conceding a penalty try for yes another high tackle! Well in skipper!!!

I have to say before I forget well done to everyone who made the big step up from other sides, Jack Pellaw, John paul Addison, Dan Bollado, Dan White, Matt Macaulay, Jack Salt. You really did step up and actually strengthened the mighty 3s.

Back to the game. More scores came, a big shout out to Connor making his first ever appearance for the club that is NOVOS. Marking his debut with a great solo effort, running the try in from half way, Joe Carr was left wondering whether there is any role left for him in the mighty 3s. He is very quick!! Also a very similar try scored from Michael Parkin who showed us that pace is a really good asset to have!!

This does prove that the mighty 3s have the best backline the club have ever seen. The forwards aint bad but feel they need to extract there beer from the night before, before they enter the changing rooms. You know who you are!

John William Marshall also scored a try but it wasn’t that good.

So all in all a great performance from the lads. A great debut performance from Connor and a great first 3s try from Michael. Also a great performance from me as always but never recognised.
I suppose James Desmond deserves a well done for scoring a hat trick but he was disgusted at the price he had to pay for his jug!

Ian Pratt does love a good high tackle and has shown that it is alright to do this so I’m sure more of us will next week. He has also shown if you kick someone on the floor in the arse from South Shields that is where their ribs are located!! Learn something new everyday.

It’s been a pleasure writing about the mighty 3s this week,

Its Tom Burford, the team bitch, writing from my living room!

Much love
Report brought to you from the mind of Tom Burford