Novos 3rd XV Show Their Class

Novos 3rd XV Show Their Class

On the coldest afternoon of the season to date, Novos Galacticos assembled at the home of rugby- Sutherland Park. There were the obligatory stragglers who had decided to prioritize napping, (David Marshall), and others who had to ensure that their stripper concubine was safely placed in an Uber (Lex Leonard).

Once on the pitch, the warm up was once again lackluster, filled with wise cracks, poor execution and a lack of effort- something that really has to change. The Great Leader realized this and gave an unusually calm evaluation of the pain he was going to inflict on to every team member and their respective families should we replicate the poor starts of the majority of past games this season. The referee then came over to discuss the ensuing game, which was done so quietly that no one really understood what was said. Five minutes until kick off, into the changing room for a rallying speech from Michael Stowe (something about freedom and Nicola Sturgeon), no one understood the content but the noise was sufficiently angry to get people stamping their feet (may have been the cold).

From the kick off Oliver Dearden, fresh from Berlin and many beers and sausages, received the ball and charged forward in what was the first of his relentless barrage of barnstorming runs at the Gosforth defence. Novos started brightly, with the Black Mamba demonstrating to all the quality that he possesses by gliding through the defence to dot down under the sticks (a total of four times in the match). The backline were working well with David Hopkins replicating Lex’s running style and for a small man, punching way above his weight and breaking the gain line every time. Will Kreibich who has been a revelation this season continued to orchestrate his backs well and the strong running from the likes of Zach Weatherhead and Michael Shackleton really provided Novos with the upperhand in offence.

The pack, after a tough match last week, were out to make amends for a poor scrum. The new look front row featured the powerhouse of Dearden, Dan Shuttleworth, and Michael Stowe, Shuttleworth looked a very useful player, the other two old codgers not so much. The umpteenth return for Joe Carr also provided some much needed ballast in the second row. The first scrummage had Oliver Dearden lifting the Gosforth tight head off the ground (Andrew Gardiner wishes he had replicated this at the lineout) and marching him backwards. Half way through the half, and Gosforth were four tries down, thanks to some great work from the backs, it was at this point that the opposition decided to resort to underhand tactics. A late hit went in on Zach who had seen it coming and had expertly offloaded to Bulfin who duly ran through the gap left by the offending Gosforth player. The error was pointed out to the slimeball who looked a rather forlorn character at this point. The rough stuff continued with the referee seemingly unaware, resident angry man Ian Pratt was on the receiving end of a particularly cheap elbow to the face during one of his surges into enemy territory, which only made him angrier, a foolish move by any opposition. As Gosforth managed to secure a couple of tries at the end of the first half through stretching the Novos defence out wide due to a plethora of missed tackles from older heads who should have known better, it appeared that there may be more of a contest than first appeared.

HALF TIME

At half time, substitutions were made and two old second rows left the park to make way for some young guns in the shape of Luke Foster and Angus Duncan. We had all seen what Luke “Fosters” could do but Euan Duncan came on and demonstrated that he will clearly have a bright future in rugby, even bagging a try much to the disappointment of a certain second row whose dry spell never looks likely to end. In the backs HRH Christian Selkirk who had been having a great game swapped with a young Matthew Minto. Shaun O'Connell came one for Shuttleworth and got stripped of the ball.

The half started strongly for Novos as before with a lot of meters made and hard carrying from the usual suspects. Blair Tweedie was an absolute menace at the breakdown, turning ball over at will and making countless tackles. Novos were having a lot of luck down the right wing and it was one of these forays that resulted in some slick hands from the outside backs and the flying Scotsman latching on to complete a Man of the Match performance.

After some good Novos play, the cheap shots that had been an element of the first half escalated. Firstly, an innocent linesman was struck in the face, and then on the pitch the late hits started to fly in and there was a risk of people getting seriously hurt. Lex Leonard was on the receiving end of some hits that wouldn’t have been out of place in an MMA ring, being the tough cookie that he is however, he just stood up and dusted himself off and got on with absolutely dominating Gosforth. Other players were also enduring some poor gamesmanship; Ollie Dearden received a no shoulders tackle from one of the bigger ogres and managed to stay on his feet. This was too much for many Novos players and supporters and tempers flared, the referee begrudgingly issued a yellow card and amazingly ordered Novos to “calm down” despite the opposition clearly being the main offenders.

On a side note, in an era where player safety is paramount, the “let the boys play” mantra adopted by the referee was ridiculous and could have resulted in serious injury.

With all the rough stuff on the pitch, David Marshall came on to sort it out along with Angry Kid himself- Selkirk. There addition worked incredibly well as HRH put through one of his all too familiar grubber kicks but too everyone’s amazement, it worked! David Marshall showed the opposition wing a clean set of heels and dived on the ball to score.

It was a strange day at Sutherland Park with a good Novos performance being overshadowed by some insalubrious play from the opposition. The strangest aspect of the day however was Andrew Gardiner being the second gobbiest Northern Irishman on the pitch!

A special mention to Joe Carr who has returned to the club his father, who recently passed away, used to play for. I think I speak for everyone when we say we are very pleased to have him back.
Report by Jack Salt